I don't know about you, but oftentimes I ask myself, Self? What would you do with 44 billion dollars? I have loads of ideas. I would donate a billion to the animal shelter, give a billion to the children's hospital, spend a billion on Reese's peanut butter cups and Snuggies. You can never have too …
Quiet Quitting & Blasé Blogging
Hey kids! Have you heard of the latest craze to sweep our fine nation? No? Me neither. I am so out of the loop I asked my 15-year-old daughter last week if she was going to go out and buy the new Taylor Swift album and she smirked, "Buy? Buy what? The album? What?! No! …
Love You (Part 3)
Death is typically depicted in our society as a mostly negative event. It's terrifying, loud, abrupt. Like most people, I used to be afraid of death. Maybe I worried if I were exposed to its clutches too long, I would end up sucked into its gaping maw and flung into the dark void of loneliness, …
Love You (Part 2)
My elderly mother sat across from me at her kitchen table, staring down at the sliced strawberries in her cereal. I noticed she was nervously stirring the milk with her spoon, unsure of what to do next. "I can't eat this," she sighed, "I can't swallow it." Her eyes met mine. A petrified little girl …
Love You (Part 1)
You cannot take on her pain. She has to go through this on her own. The voice sliced through my frenzied thoughts as I sat alone at the traffic light. It was commanding, leaving no room for argument. I silently cried as jolts of fear coursed through my body. I knew that was true. But …
Like I Need a Hole in the Head
Escaping reality by taking a long walk with my husband Saying this year has brought many challenges is like saying the first presidential debate was a spirited exchange of ideas. As my mother says, "the world is going to hell in a handbasket!" I think we're already there, Mom. Like most of you, for seven …
Beautiful Child
First breath pierces autumn chill,hazel eyes greet my blue.Strands of hair wound tight around fat fingersmy heart bleeds into yours. Run! Run! Run! scarlet leaves tumble as we dance, gold sparks of memoriesignite our sleeping minds. See the starry night swirl,the fallen acorns scatter and crunch beneath our feet. Feel the edge of timestrip flesh …
Zoom is Slowly Destroying My Soul (and other tales from the dark side)
Okay, let's put this out there from the start: we are all going through some truly insane times right now. I don't know about you, but overnight I went from bitching about the lack of a good bagel in Maine to sitting in terror watching the nightly news as a steady stream of blood spurts …
Continue reading Zoom is Slowly Destroying My Soul (and other tales from the dark side)
I Quit
I gave up coffee. But not plaid*. I'm not insane. And no, this wasn't some lame new year's resolution. I completely stopped my intake of all forms of caffeine on a cloudy Tuesday in the middle of April last year. Not a memorable day like New Year's Day, but pretty significant nonetheless for the smug …
Ode from the Commode: A Thanksgiving Plea
To Whom It May Concern: I write to you with the fervent hopethat my plight may soon be known.My ordeal began as soon as I plunkedmy ass on the porcelain throne. It seems mixing shots of tequilawith gravy-smothered pitawas clearly not the way to go. Hence, my ass exploded,the tidy bowl overloaded,and the septic tank …
She's A Maineiac 